New Moon in 15 Minutes

Cleolinda is back with another hilarious parody, this time of the teen vamp juggernaut, New Moon.

Like most of her parodies, New Moon in 15 Minutes can be found at Cleolinda's m15m community on LiveJournal. Her Twilight in 15 Minutes is also available through this community.

Highlights of New Moon in 15 Minutes:

JACOB: "Happy birthday, paleface! I stopped by Redskins 'R' Us and got you a dreamcatcher. I hear you'll be needing one a few scenes from now."

***

CHARLIE: Okay, that's ENOUGH. You've been sitting here in your pajamas not changing facial expressions for FIVE MONTHS, writing emails to that loopy Cullen girl who won't even answer you, waking me up every night with screaming nightmares--what the hell are those even ABOUT? The kid dumped you, he didn't rip the beating heart out of your chest!

BELLA [opening overshirt]: YES HE DID.

CHARLIE: Well... then... spackle that up and... go pretend you have friends or something. Harry and I gotta go hunt.

***

BELLA: So... you came down with a fever of a hundred and werewolf and... now you're allergic to shirts.

JACOB: It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella. It's not like I wanted the women of America to treat me like a piece of meat. [*GLARE*]

BELLA: Hey, who said I was complaining?

JACOB: Well, I mean... that's kind of what you do.

***

As always, Cleolinda is funny and fantastic. Check out the full New Moon in 15 Minutes immediately!

~Lily