I came across this today. I don't know who made it (I will gladly give credit if told), but I think it's hilarious.
Count von Count, keeping it real since 1972.
Straight up, even in direct sunlight, there is no sparkle. For proof, see exhibit A:
The Count is outside, in the midst of a sunny snowstorm, and there is no sparkle to be seen. That's because real vampires don't sparkle, they solve mathematical equations. Take that, Cullens.