Monday, December 21, 2009

Rachel Vincent Contest

Rachel Vincent, author of urban fantasy and young adult paranormals such as Stray, Rogue, and the Harlequin Teen release My Soul To Take, has announced a new contest. In preparation for the December 29 release of My Soul to Save, Rachel is offering a signed copy of both My Soul To Take and My Soul To Save to a lucky contest winner.

Entering is as simple as filling out a short form with your name and email address, although there are additional ways to enter. For more information, please check out Rachel's blog. All contest entries must be received no later than 11:59pm (CST) on December 23, 2009.





~Lily

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Great Starts to Great Books

Because I enjoy the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris, I thought it may be worthwhile to give some of Harris' other books a try. Ms Harris does have another paranormal series out, The Harper Connelly Mysteries, but I didn't start with those. Actually, I started with Harris' very first published novel, Sweet and Deadly.

Why am I mentioning Sweet and Deadly, a non-paranormal novel that was published before I was even born (pub date, 1981) on a current paranormal blog?

Well, because Charlaine Harris is a gifted writer, and her stories are always interesting. Because she's made a huge impact in the realm of paranormal romance, via her Sookie Stackhouse series and the television show it inspired. And because Sweet and Deadly has one of the most interesting first lines I've ever read in a novel.

"She passed a dead dog on her way to the tenant shack."

It may not sound that interesting at first, but instead of taking the easy route of introducing the main character or offering a meaningless platitude, Harris starts this rather simple novel with a disturbing, seemingly meaningless image that, although not impacting the storyline directly, or even indirectly in any significant way, is telling of the story as a whole and the otherwise random events that can mean so much more. This dead dog, though unimportant to the protagonists, bookends the story completely. It orients the details of the story and the events of one woman's life within the larger plain of the human existence. The last line of the story is also dedicated to the dog, but again in a subtle way that marks the short passage of time in the novel, and orients the characters within the greater scheme of things:

"A few miles outside of Lowfield, up the higway that led to Memphis, a little boy cried over his supper because his dun-colored dog had been missing for four days."

If she could do this with her first novel, how many more tricks has Charlaine Harris placed up her sleeve in the last 28 years?

~Lily

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

New Moon in 15 Minutes

Cleolinda is back with another hilarious parody, this time of the teen vamp juggernaut, New Moon.

Like most of her parodies, New Moon in 15 Minutes can be found at Cleolinda's m15m community on LiveJournal. Her Twilight in 15 Minutes is also available through this community.

Highlights of New Moon in 15 Minutes:

JACOB: "Happy birthday, paleface! I stopped by Redskins 'R' Us and got you a dreamcatcher. I hear you'll be needing one a few scenes from now."

***

CHARLIE: Okay, that's ENOUGH. You've been sitting here in your pajamas not changing facial expressions for FIVE MONTHS, writing emails to that loopy Cullen girl who won't even answer you, waking me up every night with screaming nightmares--what the hell are those even ABOUT? The kid dumped you, he didn't rip the beating heart out of your chest!

BELLA [opening overshirt]: YES HE DID.

CHARLIE: Well... then... spackle that up and... go pretend you have friends or something. Harry and I gotta go hunt.

***

BELLA: So... you came down with a fever of a hundred and werewolf and... now you're allergic to shirts.

JACOB: It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella. It's not like I wanted the women of America to treat me like a piece of meat. [*GLARE*]

BELLA: Hey, who said I was complaining?

JACOB: Well, I mean... that's kind of what you do.

***

As always, Cleolinda is funny and fantastic. Check out the full New Moon in 15 Minutes immediately!

~Lily

Dangerous Wands

I would totally watch this, if it were a real movie, that is.

I love me some Harry Potter, and I adore this.

College Humor created a crossover parody of Dangerous Minds and Harry Potter. Presenting: Dangerous Wands.




~Lily

The Most Ridiculous Part of New Moon

Just a short lil entry for me this morning, because I saw this picture online and just couldn't resist.

Spoiler alert, for those that haven't seen the movie or read the book series (or have any deductive reasoning abilities).

Allow me to set the scene. The Volturi are ready to snap the lovely little human neck of a frail little human girl. Let's call her, oh, how about Bella. The only way to save Bella's frail little human neck is for her sickly-looking, emo vampire not-yet-lover to agree to change her into a vampire. Which he refuses to do. Because he's a wuss.

But then his lovely and talented sister Alice interjects, with her ability to see forms of the future that are contingent on myriad changing factors and generally wrong, and yet everyone chooses to believe her anyhow. What does she see? What possible future lands itself in Alice's vision just in time to save the day and Bella's beautiful little human neck? Well, it's this.



And this is when the entire theater burst out laughing.

Hmmm, so the whole point of whining through 3 books to be changed into a vampire is so Bella can frolic through a forest wearing clothing courtesy of the Land's End catalog?

There are no words to describe how very lame this possible because Alice's visions are flawed future will be.

EDIT: Because I just couldn't resist -


~Lily

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Well That Just Makes It Sound So Icky...

Just as Helena's amusing post illustrates the scary double standard held between dirty old men and twimoms, this also rings of truth.


Kinda puts it all in perspective, huh?

~Lily

Twilight, How It Should Have Ended

This.


~Lily

Because I want to play, too

Because Helena got to show off her mad paint skillz, I want to show off my mediocre paintshop skillz.

Hence, Edwardsiella ictaluri, as I envision it:


~Lily

While studying for finals...

I came across a bacterium called Edwardsiella ictaluri; it causes disease in catfish.  I will leave it to you to google if you care enough (doubtful).  There was one striking image in my head that I could not seem to shake.  This one:







Sparkles courtesy of my awesome Paint skillz!

~Helena

Oh Stephanie, what have you done?

This made me smile and shake my head. Honestly, put down your daughter's fluffy fodder and get you a grown up lady book...they make those with vampires and shifters too.





According to the Novel Ingestion Board, aka ME, Twilight substitution for moms equals Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse series.

~Helena
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