In the Name of All that's HOLY?!

This. Just...this. THIS is why I am in favor of selective breeding.

Any brain dead moron can have a child, but you have to have a license to fish.

A temporary tattoo is not child abuse. Growing up in the hands of a "mother" (see in this case, "incubator") who has 1.) an obvious fixation with a phenomena intended for a far younger age group/maturity level and 2.) thinks it's acceptable, and even cute, to express her own preferences in the form of a mark known by the name "tramp stamp" on her infant daughter may indeed be a foreshadowing of future neglect/poor decision making/bad parenting.

This makes me far angrier than it probably should.

~Lily

Young Adult Friday

Welcome to another Young Adult Friday. Check out these YA paranormal titles, whether you're an adult or a teen.

Tantalize by Cynthia Leitich Smith

Quincie Morris has never felt more alone. Her parents are dead, and her hybrid-werewolf first love is threatening to embark on a rite of passage that will separate them forever. Then, as she and her uncle are about to unveil their hot vampire-themed restaurant, a brutal murder leaves them scrambling for a chef.

Can Quincie transform their new hire into a culinary Dark Lord before opening night? Can he wow the crowd in his fake fangs, cheap cape, and red contact lenses — or is there more to this earnest face than meets the eye? As human and preternatural forces clash, a deadly love triangle forms, and the line between predator and prey begins to blur. Who's playing whom? And how long can Quincie play along before she loses everything?

~*~*~*~~*~*~*~

Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

There were no surprises in Gatlin County.
We were pretty much the epicenter of the middle of nowhere.
At least, that's what I thought.
Turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong.
There was a curse.
There was a girl.
And in the end, there was a grave.

Lena Duchannes is unlike anyone the small Southern town of Gatlin has ever seen, and she's struggling to conceal her power, and a curse that has haunted her family for generations. But even within the overgrown gardens, murky swamps and crumbling graveyards of the forgotten South, a secret cannot stay hidden forever.

Ethan Wate, who has been counting the months until he can escape from Gatlin, is haunted by dreams of a beautiful girl he has never met. When Lena moves into the town's oldest and most infamous plantation, Ethan is inexplicably drawn to her and determined to uncover the connection between them.

In a town with no surprises, one secret could change everything.

~Lily

Recommendsday Review - Neverwhere

Today's Recommendsday novel is Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere.

Synopsis:

Richard Mayhew is a plain man with a good heart - and an ordinary life that is changed forever on a day he stops to help a girl he finds bleeding on a London sidewalk.  From that moment forward he is propelled into a world he never dreamed existed - a dark subculture flourishing in abandoned subway stations and sewer tunnels below the city - a world far stranger and more dangerous than the only one he has ever known...

The Minneapolis Star Tribune hit the nail on the head tagging Neverwhere as "a dark contemporary 'Alice in Wonderland'".  Mayhew starts out as any ordinary Londoner, going about his day to day life and keeping his nose out of everyone else's business.  That all changes when he meets Door, a girl bleeding on the street.  Due to his good nature, Mayhew helps clean Door up and becomes sucked into her world of adventure, danger, and London Below.  Yes, you read that right, London Below...ever ride a metro train and hear the recording "Mind the Gap" repeated ad nausea?  Well what happens if you fail to mind the gap and instead fall down it?  You end up in a world where the rules are all backwards, where earls, angels, bishops, and henchmen gather within the sewers and tunnels....you end up in London Below.

Poor unsuspecting Richard is now stalked by the same hitmen after Door and the only way to get back to the world he knows (London Above), is to go on a quest.  Joining the duo, are a bodyguard/assassin appropriately named Hunter and a slimy twofaced good for nothing (can you tell I despise him?) turdface called the Marquis of Carabas.  Many almost Monte Python-esque trials await the group; however where Python is silly, Neverwhere is just as dark and corrupt.

Characters are well rounded, plot is off like a shot every chapter, and the dialogue flows with no effort on the reader's part.  I had a very hard time putting the book down, even after I finished I contemplated starting all over again.  The world Gaiman weaves is nothing short of amazing.  I even caught myself peering down gaps in the elevator wondering what lay below ;p.

Mind the gaps as you run off for your own copy!

Rating: 5/5

~Helena

Book By Its Cover - Unchained

Today we'll be reviewing the cover of Sharon Ashwood's new release Unchained, on Book By Its Cover Tuesday here at Vamps R Us.

Synopsis:

Faced with a custody battle for her daughter, monster-killer Ashe Carver has hung up her stakes and taken a job at the public library. But then after centuries guarding a supernatural prison, the dashing Captain Reynard strides into her world. He has only weeks to live unless Ashe finds the thief who took his soul-and he's too drop-dead gorgeous to die...

Helena's Thoughts:

I almost feel like this is an urban hero/graphic novel. The likes of Sin City come to mind in particular, or the Watchmen, as far as typical scenery/world building go. The cover seems almost cold and inaccessible; I don't have that "drawn in" feel. Appeal wise, I am pretty apathetic on this one.

Lily's Thoughts:

I like bikes!

It's Friggin' Twilight, Yo

Here's a Independence Day gift for you. Twilight...Jersey Shores style!




Apparently, the Jersey Shores cast is really good at parodying themselves and anything else in pop culture. For a recent Jimmy Kimmel Live Twilight-themed special, the cast of Jersey Shores pulled out all the stops.

Enjoy!

~Lily

Young Adult Friday

It's Young Adult Friday. Indulge your younger self with these great reads.

A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb

Someone was looking at me, a disturbing sensation if you're dead. Though I could not feel paper between my fingers, smell ink, or taste the tip of a pencil, I could see and hear the world with all the clarity of the Living. They, on the other hand, did not see me as a shadow or a floating vapor. To the Quick, I was empty air. Or so I thought.

In the class of the high school English teacher she has been haunting, Helen feels them: For the first time in 130 years, human eyes are looking at her. They belong to a boy, a boy who has not seemed remarkable until now. And Helen–terrified, but intrigued–is drawn to him. The fact that he is in a body and she is not presents this unlikely couple with their first challenge. But as the lovers struggle to find a way to be together, they begin to discover the secrets of their former lives and of the young people they come to possess.

~*~*~*~~*~*~*~

Old Magic by Marianne Curley and Jeannie Lee

Jarrod Thornton is mesmerizing, but Kate Warren doesn't know why.

The moment the new guy walks into the room, Kate senses something strange and intense about him. Something supernatural. Her instincts are proven correct a few minutes later when, bullied by his classmates, Jarrod unknowingly conjures up a freak thunderstorm inside their classroom.

Jarrod doesn't believe in the paranormal. When Kate tries to convince him that he has extraordinary powers that need to be harnessed, he only puts up with her "hocus pocus" notions because he finds her captivating. However, the dangerous, uncontrolled strengthening of his gift finally convinces Jarrod that he must take Kate's theories seriously. Together, they embark on a remarkable journey — one which will unravel the mystery that has haunted Jarrod's family for generations and pit the teens against immense forces in a battle to undo the past and reshape the future.

~Lily