Where to even begin? So, Moira Rogers has not one, but two new books coming out very shortly. One features a vampire lumberjack, the other a werewolf bootlegger. And Moira (or rather the two wonderful women who are Moira, Bree & Donna) want to know which of the two has the most potential for awesome. Is it the vampire lumberjack or the werewolf bootlegger?
The answer is easy, of course. It's the Werewolf Bootlegger.
Now I love vamps, it's kind of a prerequisite to work on this blog. And lumberjacks are just hot, really. The combination of vampire and lumberjack is a formidable one, but if there is one combination that can blow the vampire lumberjack straight out of the treetops, it's a werewolf bootlegger.
I mean come on! Vamps are sexy, but they're also whiter than chalk, cold and undead. Bring on the werewolves! They're the whole package wrapped in a beyond-mortal body that still has a beating heart. Every now and then a girl wants something warm blooded, ya know? And I can handle a little extra hair when the trade off is a pulse and an erotic animalistic streak.
Now, let's look at the chosen professions. Lumberjacks are cool and all, I mean you have to respect the hardworking blue collar professions. But where's the excitement? Where's the danger? No, losing a finger in a tragic ax accident doesn't count. That's not the sexy kind of danger I find appealing and, to my knowledge, vamps aren't part earthworm. What's cut off does not regenerate. Ew.
Now bootlegging, that's far more interesting. I've got a thing for anti-hero bad boys, and here we have a werewolf flaunting governmental regulations to get the people what they want. He's a rebel, a freedom fighter, an underground activist. It's like the alcoholic version of Robin Hood with tommy guns instead of bows and arrows. Besides, one of the hottest things about lumberjacks is the thought of them coming home hot and sweaty and ready to go after a day hard at work. Vampires don't sweat, which is a bonus on the olfactory front, but defeats the purpose of the fantasy. Really, you're just going to have a tired, cold guy in flannel coming home from a hard day of labor. Would the strenuous work even add muscle mass? Do vamps have muscle mass? And are they really going to be keyed up for other activities after a day of playing in the treetops? If so, there may be other, more disturbing issues at work
Speaking of flannel, this isn't the early '90s grunge scene. Would you rather have your man in a nasty flannel shirt and worn out jeans smelling of wood chips and possibly carrying the remnants of poison oak, or a sharp, gangster-style pinstripe suit with a hip flask?
Finally, I leave you with two words as my closing argument, take them as you will:
I'd be a werewolf bootlegger's moll any day!
This post is a part of Moira Rogers’ Creature Feature Kindle Throwdown Contest. By leaving a (meaningful) comment, you will be entered to win a Kindle from Amazon.com, or an alternate grand prize of $275 to spend at an online book retailer. For a full list of rules and more ways to win, visit the contest page.
If you need any help making up your mind, check out these awesome posts. Seriously, they had me laughing out loud.
Werewolf Bootlegger: click here
Vampire Lumberjack: click here